While I am a strong proponent of the idea that words are what separates us most and that definitions are tentative things at best, but they are still all we as human beings have to try and express ourselves to one another.
That being said, I wanted to share my thoughts on sex and intimacy. (My thoughts, your mileage may vary, objects in the mirror may be closer than they appear.)
Sex is about power. I don’t just mean as in there is a generally fuck-er and a fuck-ee but yes, (…Yes, yes!, yes!!!) that, but what I mean is everything about it revolves around power. Who controls access to it, who determines when, where, and how long it will last, and how it will be done.
As a horny adolescent wanting for all the world just to get to second base, it was obvious to me who had the power. I was never going to feel a breast without a girl’s permission. She had all the power.
I’m not saying sex can’t be intimate, but if you think of sex as the ultimate form of intimacy, then once a person becomes ‘of a certain age’ and sex is no longer on the table, does intimacy die?
Intimacy for me is found in service. Can you be more intimate with someone than washing their underwear? Cleaning their toilet? Uh, not much! Intimacy is borne from knowing how she likes her tea. What her favorite restaurant is and which diet your cooking needs to adhere to. (this week. LoL!) Intimacy is all about knowing all the little details about one another and caring and catering to them.
Back at the turn of the last century, butler’s and lady’s maids were at least as intimate with the people they served as were their spouses in my opinion. In some cases, maybe even more.
[TO BE CONTINUED…]