“Desire is the driver of power. Power is getting what you want. And complimentary power already exists in so many different ways. The desires of two or more people need not be for the same payoff to create complimentary power -a certain type of equality based in fairness. For example, one can one want money (and all the subsequent power that brings) and another can want pleasure, and those complimentary desires can create an equal playing field within an interaction. This is why corporate feminism doesn’t work. Assuming that women desire exactly what men have and not something equally powerful but different is it’s downfall. It could be equal without ever being fair. I am starting to value *fairness* over what most would think of as equality. There are too many unfair equivalencies in the current notion of equality for it to fulfill desires.“
Yes. I think what you are describing as ‘fairness’ could be described as ‘the exchange rate’.
The person wanting (or needing) money in your prostitution example is historically most likely female and she pays a huge cost in order to achieve a comparatively small financial gain. She surrenders her feminine power, power of choice, her physical and psychological well-being and her very holiness in exchange for a handful of greasy bucks. There should not be enough money in the world for a man to fully compensate a woman for the privilege of touching her in any intimate fashion.
Similarly (IMHO), the women of the corporate world how want ‘exactly what men want’ are equally short-selling themselves and surrendering all it means to be a woman, essentially aping male to pursue a simple male goal. To gain the same level of success as their male counterpart cost them much, much more in the exchange.
So in order for ‘fairness’ to exist, we need to consider exchange rate or the true cost of the exchange to the individual.
I think too that what you are saying touches upon why Mona Eltahawy partly argues patriarchy cannot be destroyed from the inside out. Women entering the worlds of finance and politics do so at the expense of far too much of their ‘woman-ness’ and feminist ideals. I think Jacinda Ardern is an example. Trying to ape male to make gains in those worlds simply cost her too much – and she could no longer pay the needed exchange rate to continue to achieve it. And I think while confusing to many men, her stepping out of the male dominated world of power in exchange for living the remainder of her life as ‘just a woman’ is a HUGE power move, because ‘just a woman’ is a giant step UP from the title of Prime Minister.
P.S. Fuck you and your character limits Elon.